"I have this way of getting turned off easily."
Let's just reflect on the honesty of that statement for a minute. because this one factor is why I didn't want to (and don't want to) get too far too fast. I've always wondered if the most important aspect of an investment isn't just the kinetics of making the deal. You can sometimes make a deal on Monday that you couldn't make on Tuesday. Or you can sell someone a stock on Thursday, but they should have bought it Wednesday, because by Friday it's meaningless. What does this have to do with you and me? To be blunt, I can't tell what day it is.
3 things can happen here.
1. you fall for me, you stay with me, we raise great kids.
2. you fall for me, fall out of love [easily] because of something I do, and leave
3. you don't really fall for me--think you fall for me, but don't--and leave
So. this already has like a 33% success rate. I know cancer patients who have better odds than that. Fuck. I know interstellar galactic exploration satellites, blown off into the black vacuum of space, that have a higher expected success rate than that.
What it comes down to is that I know we're very alike. In... many, many ways. I was about to count them, but realized I was going to, well, get bored and quit, if I tried. And I couldn't ask for a better segueway than that. You and I, we get bored and quit. We get turned off by something even slightly aberrant to the Way It Should Be, slightly divergent from the pictures we have in our heads, and then it's game over. There's very little chance of reignition.
I know this, because I'm like that. And you're like me. Ergo, I know you're like that, too. So what's to say that we don't get into this, get going with this, and then stop, stare at each other one day, and just say, "No." What's to say I'm not going to bore you. Who's to say that all my flaws won't stick a fork in your fever.
You know what. Fuck it. It's fine. I should go along for the ride. I should shut my mouth, hunker down, and go with it. And really, who cares if I get hurt. I've been hurt before, right? And I've survived. Surely, your rejection can't represent the end of my entire existence. Or is it more like, since we're so alike, it'll be like crossing dimensions, so it'll be the ultimate rejection of myself in a way. And then something will implode somewhere.
Either way, whatever. I don't care. So what. You'll get what you want.
